Breastfeeding Carnival Day 11: My Mothering Decisions

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Blog Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Timbra Wiist landslidephotography {at} hotmail {dot} com. Today's post is about Motherhood Views. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed in the comments section at www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com The Carnival runs July 16th through the 31st!  

I went in to pregnancy pretty open and ready to do research to determine what I needed and wanted to do for my kids.  I had NO idea when I first became pregnant with our first baby (that I miscarried at 8 weeks of pregnant) what I was going to do other than breastfeed and make my own baby food.  When I became pregnant the second time (with Monkey) I started the research.  I was part of an awesome online community on iVillage.  I learned about all sorts of things like how parents didn't let baby cry it out (CIO) (I was always told it was necessary to help them "self sooth"-after research I found the complete opposite!), parents that babywear, etc.  I was totally closed off to the idea of cloth diapers at first, then it became maybe I'll try them once we're doing solid foods, then there was a horrible time of having multiple blowouts in a row and my little man having to be naked because he'd burned through the few outfits we had in the diaper bag.  I started in my intense research and decided to make the switch to cloth diapers. 

I've always wanted to be a mom.  When I was growing up and people would ask me at school what I wanted to be I remember ALWAYS saying I wanted to be a mom.  My husband knew how important it was to me before we even got married that I wanted to be home with my kids all the time and not work.  I think it's very important for a mother to be home with her kids.  We agreed before we were married that we would make that happen. 

To my great surprise I became pregnant and wasn't done with school yet.  I actually found out before school was out for the summer just before our 1 year anniversary.  I lost that baby just a couple days after our anniversary.  At that point I started to look in to how I could finish school faster so I could be done in about a year and a half or so.  THEN much to our surprise I got pregnant with Monkey just a couple months later and started scheduling appointments with counselors so I could get a whole minor and the rest of my major done while pregnant.  My due date was during finals week but I knew I could do it.  I was in 20 and 21 credit hours my last two semesters while battling hyperemesis (and not being able to go to class A LOT because I was either in the hospital or couldn't leave the side of the toilet) and then battling preterm labor and bedrest.  I did it though and walked with my Bachelor's degree when Monkey was 2 weeks old (he arrived about a week before his due date).  I had 3 incompletes-one that I needed to do in the summer, one that I just needed to finish a test, and one that I needed to write a paper.  The class in the summer didn't work out so I ended up having to do an online course through another University to fulfill the requirement and transfer the credits.  It was so so so hard to do the course with a newborn but I knew I HAD to finish school.  The paper was also super hard to write because it was an in-depth paper about the research and readings I did the semester I was on bedrest.  I did it though and was able to be a stay at home mom while doing so. 

I also started a business while Monkey was tiny and was finishing my courses.  I knew it would help give me something that was MINE that I could look forward to (changing diapers and being a housewife are not my favorite things in the world in all honesty) while being able to be with my baby and take care of his needs all the time.  My business has changed from strictly sewing to strictly knitting over the 4 years I've been in business but it's still my passion besides being a mom.

When I became pregnant with Monkey I knew I needed to eat healthier.  It was really hard for me because I was SO sick about the only thing I could hold down was Ramen Noodles.  My habits couldn't change a lot while I was pregnant so I made a new goal to do my best and once he was born to change the way I ate.  I would say that helped a lot and I still eat pretty healthy though I still like treats and to have what many would say is unhealthy sometimes.  We eat a lot of fruit though and I pay a lot more attention to our fruit and vegetable intake and eat organic as much as possible.

I learned a lot through my pregnancy and still learn a lot.  I think it's really important to try to be open minded and do research for everything you do raising kids.  I am trying to remain open to new things and in doing so we decided we'd homeschool (and we used to be pretty closed off to it), rear face the carseat past the standard age of 1 (Monkey was 18 months, Kangaroo will be at least 2), etc.  My idea of motherhood does change quite a bit but my main goal to breastfeed has always remained the highest priority.